Many of you may know that about 7 months ago I ruptured a disc in my back that resulted in emergency surgery. The ruptured disc was on a nerve going down my right leg, which was a LITTLE uncomfortable, and the surgery was to get the disc off of the nerve. That surgery was a success in terms of of fixing the nerve, but the disc problem that I’ve had since high school, still remains. I say all of that not to throw myself a rocking pity party, but to give you some background info for the week I’ve had.
Last Thursday night, in the middle of the night, I tweaked my back by rolling over too quick or something because I felt a sharp pain in my lower back. By the end of the next day, friday, I couldn’t get home and in bed quick enough. Let me briefly describe what “being down in my back” means. I can’t straighten my right leg when I walk, I can’t stand up straight, I can’t be on my feet for more than a couple of minutes, the thought of putting on socks or shoes is laughable, and a constant pain in my lower back/right hip/right butt cheek…just to list a few.
For you visual learners…if you’ll notice, my spine is not very straight.
Last night, as well as every other night this week, I was wide awake at 4:oo with the strong desire to read the Bible. So, I got out my iPad, turned to James, and began to read. James 1:2-4 was, without a doubt, what I needed at 4:00 am…
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trails of many kinds, because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish it’s work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything”. The application of this verse to my current situation is pretty self-explanatory, and to be honest with you, this communication between me and God is long overdue. In my relationship with God, I really struggle with hearing from God. I’m 100 percent sure that the breakdown in communication is on my end, and to be honest(again) my lack of discipline is a major issue for me…but I’m working on it. The fact that I’ve been on my back with nothing to keep me busy or distracted, has really helped me to begin a HABIT of spending time with Jesus and in the word of God.
Anyways, what are you doing with your “trial”…developing your faith through perseverance, or developing a heart that immediately becomes self-absorbed with a “why me” attitude? Trust me, I can relate to how easy it is to get down because of circumstances. A common misconception about God is that He wants us to be happy in life. The problem with that is that the word happy comes from the word happenstance, which means that our “happiness” is determined by the circumstances in life…that isn’t what God wants for us. I don’t want to preach too much, but the Bible talks about a Joy that comes in a relationship with Jesus, that is not based on what this world does or doesn’t do. It’s based on Jesus and the sacrifice He made on the cross so that we could have a hope when our circumstances seem hopeless and a peace that passes all human understanding.
Well, this blog is long enough…I could barely get through the proof read. NO SHAVE NOVEMBER
Good stuff. I was just reading today an came across something in my bible that had a dated refrence to my anxiety/panic attacks that started two years ago. The verse u talked about in James began to help give me some perspective also. It sounds weirs but I actually began to find joy in the fact that GOD was chosing to meet w me in these hard times. That he allowed them to be there because he wants me to learn MORE about him. Which is an amazing priviledge. And I began to feel honored to endure the trial knowing that I would come out on the other side knowing the GOD of the universe a little more. I was and am thankful that he chose me.
Love u.
And while I hate that my little brother is hurting and in pain, I’m glad GOD has chosen to meet w you and that u have surrendered to being still.
Those r my thoughts!
I read this a while back when you posted it, and it reminds of that time when I read it.